"Swiss Watching" by Diccon Bewes
An expat Brit’s view of Switzerland, aka Suisse, aka Schweiz, aka Svizzera, aka Svizra, aka Confoederatio Helvetica.
This is a Bill Bryson-eque take on a foreign country. Unlike Bryson or David Sedaris, there’s not really a story or a journey tying the author’s observations together. It’s just a collection of interesting, often funny fish-out-of-water thoughts and reflections. And while Bewes can be funny, he’s not Bryson or Sedaris. But that’s an unfair comparison for almost any writer. But Switzerland’s a pretty great subject, so it’s hard to go wrong. Having lived there with my family made it an especially fun read.
This book was published the year we left Switzerland and returned to the States. Like Duolingo, it’s something I wish had existed for us while we were there. Bewes describes some aspects of Swiss life that I’d completely forgotten, and many more that I wish I’d had a chance to explore or experience. (There are many more of that latter since Bewes and his book are Swiss German centric, and we lived in French-speaking Geneva.)
Things I’d forgotten:
Cailler chocolate is the best. But almost just as good is the inexpensive store brand Prix Garantie chocolate at the local Coop.
Paychecks come monthly, 13 times a year. The 13th paycheck for paying taxes.
The Swiss don’t describe their country in terms of north and south, but up and down in relation to the Alps. This is confusing to outsiders because when you go up, you’re traveling south, and going down is going north.
As part of recycling, you take your old light bulbs, plastic bottles, and batteries to the supermarket.
You can’t buy painkillers at the supermarket. You have to go to the pharmacist even to get ibuprofen. This was frustrating to discover when we had a sick kid on a Sunday.
The invisible barrier between the French-speaking and Swiss German-speaking parts of Switzerland is known as the Röstigraben or the “fried potato trench.”
Things I wish I’d known:
Switzerland was established in August 1291 in a meadow called Rütli above Lake Uri when three men from different cantons swore an oath of allegiance to each other. That is so Swiss. The history is debatable, but I would have liked to visit Rütli. It looks gorgeous. Then again, most everywhere in Switzerland is.
We never did visit or walk along Chapel Bridge.
With its mandatory military service for males and it’s standing army, Switzerland has the world’s fourth highest rate of gun ownership per head, behind the USA, Serbia, and Yemen.
Calvin banned jewelry in Geneva in 1541, which is one of the reasons craftsmen turned their skills into watchmaking.
The Lauterbrunnen Valley was Tolkien’s inspiration for Rivendell. Having been there, I knew this without actually knowing it.
Just as Cervantes’ Don Quixote as we know it today is actually the combination of the original and its sequel, Heidi was originally Heidi’s Years of Wandering and Learning and the sequel, Heidi Uses What She Has Learned.
As part of applying for citizenship, after you’ve passed your oral and written exams, the canton in which you’re planning to live gets to vote on whether you become Swiss or not. That’s so Swiss.
READ IT IF: You lived in Switzerland or you’re planning to go there. It’s not a travel guide, but it’ll help you appreciate the beauties and quirks of the country.
Before we were the Christexans, we were the Swisstensens…
"The Lauterbrunnen Valley was Tolkien’s inspiration for Rivendell."
Well now I have to go.